Ever get confused with all the medical words your doctors use? This list of Texas medical terms and definitions will help. I do not have a problem with Texas. I have a problem with people using medical words wrong. This shows you how to use them right.
- artery = the study of paintings
- bacteria = back door to the cafeteria
- barium = what doctors do when patients die
- benign = the year after you be 8
- Cesarean section = a neighborhood in Rome
- cat scan = searching for kitty
- cauterize = made eye contact with her
- colic = a sheep dog
- coma = a punctuation mark
- D&C = where Washington is
- dilate = to live long
- enema = not a friend
- fester = quicker than someone else
- fibula = a small lie
- genital = a non-Jewish person
- G.I. series = world series of military baseball
- hangnail = what you hang your coat on
- impotent = distinguished, well-known
- labor pain = getting hurt at work
- medical staff = a doctor's cane
- morbid = a higher offer than I bid
- nitrates = cheaper than day rates
- node = I knew it
- outpatient = a person who has fainted
- Pap smear = a fatherhood test
- pelvis = second cousin to Elvis
- post-operative = a letter carrier
- recovery room = place to do upholstery
- rectum = almost killed him
- secretion = hiding something
- seizure = a Roman emperor
- tablet = a small table
- terminal illness = getting sick at the airport
- tumor = more than one
- urine = opposite of you're out
- varicose = nearby
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