On Gallstones

I saw a patient with cholelithiasis (gallstones) whom I was referring to a surgeon to perform a cholecystectomy (gallbladder removal). During my pre-surgery examination, the patient asked me, “Can I keep the gallstones? I want to make earrings out of them.” Aside from suppressing an intense urge to laugh at that moment, I told her in my most professional tone that gallstones are mostly made of cholesterol, which break easily and thus are not ideal for jewelry-making. They are also dark-colored and oddly shaped, and therefore not aesthetically pleasing.

Perhaps I should have pointed out her failure to realize that she would be making earrings out of her own body parts. Then again, I am sure she already knew that but does not care.

What’s next? Human teeth necklaces?

Oh man, the future is already here.